Dear Sir

I am sure that you are aware, that when a chap reaches a certain age, it is extremely easy for them to succumb to the chronic & highly debilitating illness known as lazybastarditis – a malady characterised by a constant feeling of tardiness, idleness & widespread malaise.

A widespread belief that the medical fraternity share, is that those afflicted with this potentially life-threatening condition, have in fact, performed at a physical & mental pace that is overtly unnatural to the human species – a pathology which psychologists refer to as kicking-the-arse-out-of-it-syndrome. As a result, the body can suddenly & inexplicably enter an emergency state of basic functioning, rendering the sufferer incapable of any meaningful activity, except maybe operating a remote control, opening a packet of biscuits, or shuffling periodically to the fridge.

Now, it may come as a shock to some, that I have previously suffered with a severe bout of lazybastarditis, brought on by many years of kicking-the-arse-out-of-it. But what actually saved me from death by daytime TV, cheesy puffs & cheap lager, was the quintessentially British pastime known as Mindful Escapism (also known to some as ‘dawdling’). Just the simple act of making a bid for freedom out of the front door, in order to just amble, bimble & wander about at a relaxed & dare I say it, carefree pace, can help a gent unwind from the stresses & strains of daily living. In fact, I would be so bold as to state, that with regular bouts of ME time, one can not only improve their overall health & libido, but they can also learn to actively re-engage with their local environment – public houses, pie shops, restaurants of Indian heritage & the such.

Note: It is expected, that in this overly superfast age, there will be some who suggest that ME time is nothing more than swanning or even skiving in another guise, but as a gentleman I would like to assure you that these assumptions are baseless & completely unjust. Swanning is performed, by & large, by married chaps who commit to sudden bouts of mild exercise in order to avoid being tasked with a chore by their partners, & similarly, although we admire the skill & expertise of the professional skiver in their subtle body-swerving of any form of labour, the term skiving is actually reserved for those in paid employment.

Therefore, if I may be so bold, I would like to submit for your casual perusal my online periodical – The Dawdler. This blog is designed for those gents, who, like myself, are advancing in years & in serious need of a little ME time from the bonkers, freneticism of modern life.

Yours faithfully

DL Street, Esq.

The Dawdler

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